


Begin the World

by jat_sapphire



Category: The Professionals
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Episode: s04e06 Discovered in a Graveyard, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-17
Updated: 2019-07-17
Packaged: 2020-06-30 06:48:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19847773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jat_sapphire/pseuds/jat_sapphire
Summary: Ray comes home from the hospital.Dickens uses the title phrase significantly inBleak House.  The quoted lines are from Sir Philip Sidney'sArcadia





	Begin the World

The first day Ray was back home—in the new flat CI5 had moved him to and Bodie had unpacked for him—he was already exhausted by dusk. Bodie warmed some tinned soup for dinner, and then they got ready for bed. Bodie hoped—wishing like a child on Christmas Eve as he got out bedding for the couch—that he could just hold on to Ray a little. Then Ray saw the duvet and sheet, folded next to the arm of the couch, and reached out to catch Bodie by the arm, just above his elbow, gripping hard. "No, you don't," he said, so they went into the bedroom.

Lying here, Ray safe and breathing evenly in the circle of Bodie's arms, felt like a helium balloon expanding and pulling up in his chest, and he had to work not to hold too tightly, not to let his own lungs gasp or pant, to keep the stinging, foolish tears behind his eyelids. Ray was spooned back (that back the doctors had opened like an oyster shell and reached in to put their gloved hands _on his heart,_ massaging it, so that it beat steadily now, banging) against Bodie's chest as if he could take Ray's heart into his own ribcage and keep it safe. Bodie tightened his arms just a little and tilted his chin so Ray's head rested against his throat. He swallowed, feeling Ray's curls from chin to chest.

If he wasn't going to put his hands everywhere on Ray's warm skin or burst into wild tears, he'd have to talk. It seemed just as difficult, especially when the only word in his mind was "miracle."

He cleared his throat, and Ray moved his head as if to look back, then stopped again. His hand covered Bodie's wrist.

"Were you ever an altar boy, in the choir, like that?" Bodie asked.

"Whatever is in that empty skull of yours, mate?" It was hardly a question. Ray's grip tightened.

Bodie waited. 

"Choir," Ray said at last.

"Me too. They told me I looked like a little angel," and Bodie tried hard to sound as self-satisfied as he once would have, but his own voice was weirdly uncertain.

"'Course they did, dark 'n beautiful. S'pose you couldn't'a been tall. Yet."

"Talked a lot about miracles."

Ray huffed a little, his chuckle hardly audible. "So you listened a little?"

"Never sounded like anything real. Then."

Ray was silent long enough that Bodie thought he must have fallen asleep. Then he shifted, apparently trying to turn over, and after a few moments when Bodie clutched more tightly, he got hold of himself and helped. Got Ray's arse farther over, shifted him onto his back, pushed himself to the edge and rolled Ray to his side. Now they were breathing on each other's faces, the sea colours of Ray's eyes so near that Bodie saw the iris ravelling as Ray's eyes dilated. His expression was intent. Bodie's chest felt tight, as if his lungs had shrunk and he could not draw a deep breath.

"Now," Ray whispered, "now it does, eh?"

Bodie could neither look away nor speak, but his face must have shown the "yes" he could not say. He closed his eyes, but his arms would not loosen. He could not stop feeling Ray's exhalations, his warmth. There was nothing he could hide.

"What am I going to do with you, y'soft prat?" Bodie felt Ray's fingers card into his hair, stroke back, and pet again, and again, as if Bodie were returning the caress. He forced his eyes open.

"Do with me—?" he managed.

Ray leaned in and kissed the end of Bodie's nose. He looked in Bodie's eyes again, for a long moment, and then kissed his mouth, so gently that Bodie wasn't sure it was real.

“Do, do,” Bodie forced words out, one at a time. “whatever you like, sunshine.”

Ray kissed him again, slowly, lingering. “Tell you that your eyes are like summer sky? Your mouth is rose red, and your skin is damask rose colour, especially when your pulse pounds like this?” and Bodie felt fingertips on his neck where, yes, his pulse was hard. As Ray snuggled closer, as his eyes grew warmer and as he kissed Bodie over and over, Bodie stroked his back and his sides, while his cock filled and his head was spinning with dreams coming true.

“Tell me ...” he whispered.

“ _You_ tell me,” Ray said.

“Your hair is like wool, soft and warm, but smells better,” Bodie said, low and sonorous. “That shampoo of yours is like a whole garden of herbs and flowers.” His arms tightened without his meaning to. “You're alive, Ray, _alive_ , and it's like … yes, like a miracle that I never deserved. I might have to go back to church now, thank somebody.”

Ray put his chin up, and his eyes were shiny with tears. “Bodie,” he breathed, caught his breath, and repeated it in a shaky voice, “Bodie.”

“That's how your voice sounded in the hospital,” Bodie said, “when I came up after the ambulance, when the girl ...”

“When Mayli was dead.”

“And you nearly.”

“You were my miracle then.” Ray smiled, and his soft lips brushed Bodie's, parted, and his softer tongue lapped in, touched and teased Bodie's.

“You're mine now.”

“My big softie,” Ray smiled softly as he said it, and Bodie smiled back. It was like sun shining in the big plate-glass window. It was like a bright morning after storm.

“Sunshine,” Bodie said, unable to say more, but Ray looked as if he had heard everything, and his face held light like a saint's in a painting.

“Promise I won't tell,” Ray said eventually. “Won't spoil your reputation. You can go on being the rough, tough, scary merc for the rest of the Squad.” 

“An' inside, a marshmallow.”

“Whipped cream.” Ray smiled.

“Swiss Roll cream.”

“That make me chocolate cake?”

Bodie was so happy that he couldn't laugh. “Oh yes, finest roast coffee in it as well.”

“Madman,” Ray said smugly, so Bodie had to steal a kiss between Ray's eyes. And then on each eyelid. On his mouth again. 

“Your lips,” Bodie hardly heard himself, felt filled with awe. “So warm. You're alive.”

“So are you, my big softie.”

Ray's eyebrows were soft and furry and tasted like digestive biscuit. Plain and good, the bread of life. “His heart in me keeps him and me in one,” Bodie quoted to himself, taking long breaths, eyes wet and mouth curving in a sleepy smile. “My heart in him his thoughts and senses guides.”

“A new chance,” Ray's voice was full of wonder. “A new world.”

“We'll begin the world tomorrow,” Bodie said, his voice honey-sweet and low. “I'll hold you tonight.”

“What's the difference?” Ray asked, and Bodie did not answer because there was no difference. Against his arms, Ray's breath was strong and even, slowing as he drifted off to sleep, as he began his world, and Bodie's too.


End file.
